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I followed the satellite map in my brain. One of the few advantages of being able to communicate directly to the damn things. I told myself that it was like talking to a third cousin. I laughed, knowing that was the kind of thinking that could get me my own TV show again.The two men at the road block, within sight of the Monastery, were so busy watching the road that they didn't see me slip up on them. I had them covered with one of the chopped up AK47s by the time I cleared my throat to warn them."Now gentlemen, and I use that term loosely," I said in classical Spanish. "You may leave your rifles and anything else you brought with you and run like hell back down that road. Of course you can't stop till you get somewhere with a phone. If I find you on the road, I will kill you in a most painful manner ... Now run!" I watched with a smile as the two big strong men ran away from the skinny chick, with the really bad hair. I did of course have the chopped down AK47 on my side.I went up. Thank God there is an hour between the end of the last elimination match and the beginning of the semi-finals. What was better yet, the hour doesn't even start until after the between match tasks. First comes Marie's walk of shame, then the hose down, followed by Linda Muller shaving Rox Green, and writing her name in indelible ink four places on Rox. Then it is my turn, as I write my name on Marie Judy, between her pubic hair and her navel. Next, Marie will draw the name of a guy who will get to remove a garment from three of her sorority sisters, because Marie was the third Sig loser, and she will draw the three girls to sacrifice a garment.While all that is happening, I get to scout around, and claim a top and bottom from non-competing Sigs who are still wearing something, if I can find something which will fit me. I don't know if the suit I wore to wrestle is OK or not, but I have the opportunity to take two Sig garments, and I plan to do it. If I can't find something now being.
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